Friday, August 3, 2012

Live Your Life (No self-pity)

Friday, August 3, 2012
No matter how hard your life may be, live your life!

Selalu kana cakap macam tu. Saya tabik la urang yang buli cakap sinang ja mo hidup!! Mimang terer gila la tu urang.

A year ago, semua ayam yang Grannie saya ternak sakit. sakit bawa maut. Tinggal 2 survivors lagi. Both hen. A black and red hens. I saw the black one lying under the stair. She makes no movement for about a day and I thought she's dead. Saya suruh Dady saya pi kubur. Saya mo juga tapi penakut ne saya kalu babak mati2.
The question always rage out from my mind,
"what happen to the dead things?" "For God's second coming, they too will rise?" "Where they go? I saw them grow up. Will I forget? Will this pass? Will I ever met them again when I buried them? What will happen to me? How is it to be dead?" etc etc

PELIK

Sambung crita.. Bila Dady saya angkat, bergerak pula. Hidup bah. 2-3 hari kemudian dapat sudah kenen dia  bangun. Miracle! Mo 4hari xmakan tau minum, tapi masih hidup.. kalu saya, enta la. Sakap pun susah! A year later, ne tahun la, they multiply. The black hen rises 3 chickens and the red hen 4 chickens. The black hen kira ketua di area da la. because no rooster kn. She's the tough one, so she's the boss. No other chicken yg bule kacau da makan. Kadang-kadang sa gerigitan juga, tapi bila ingat balik cara da survive, saya tidak jadi buat apa-apa. Unluckily, 1 dari anak da ne kudung. IYA. Hilang 1 kaki da. Kadang bila saya tingu ne ayam, saya pandai terfikir "hebat da ohw. Teda sebelah kaki tapi sa inda sa pena nampak da berhenti bergerak. Jalan-jalan ja kerja da."  Ramai yang kesian kalu nampak ne anak ayam bah. Tadi petang saya kesian nampak da berusaha cari makan, saya bagi da makanan. (Yang hen yg red, pindah rumah. Inda tahan kana belasah oleh yang black hen. KEJAM. *-*) Time-time saya bagi da makan, beliau da sampai da patuk bah ne ayam kudung. PUNYA! ~~

Yang siblings da, uke2 lagi.inda lagi mematuk kalu p makan yang makanan saya bagi. Durang share lagi. ^^
Bila saya nampak mama da patuk ne anak ayam, memang la saya inda buli buat pa2 kan. Ketua bh tu da. Saya rasa macam mo mara pun ada. Tapi bila ingat balik, I can't judge. Who am I to tell it to stop? That the little chicken had lost its left foot and having a hard time to survive and the Mum shouldn't do that?
Saya rasa yang Mama ayam buli dengan megah bah cakap "ko ingat senang ka hidup? ko ingat ko teda kaki sebelah ko patut dapat layanan istimewa? Mama indada hilang mana2 anggota badan tapi Mama hilang sudah semua keluarga yang ada. Itu anggota yang Mama hilang. Jadi Mama pun layak dapat layanan istimewa.Tapi hidup memang susah. Paling inda patutlah ko kasi kesian diri sendiri. Ko inda survive. Ko teda kaki sebelah tapi ko masih juga perlu lari cepat bila ada ular atau biawak kejar ko, kalu inda ko mimang dalam perut dorang. Ko ingat dorang mo berhenti kejar, bagi peluang 100meter baru dorang kejar sebab teda sbalah kaki ko? TEDA. Jangan ko marah Mama kalu Mama layan ko macam ne. Kasi bukti Mama yang ko bukan lemah. Yang ko ne anak Mami."
Maybe those words are the words that encourage that little chick to survive, to keep on running in its life, to keep on walking even if it's hurt, to keep finding food to survive and never stop to let itself die.

PAIN. Pain is the prove that we are alive. I feel the pain of living my life everyday, but at least it indicates I am alive! I feel pain when I fall, when I'm sad, when someone leave me, when someone hurt me, when I saw things I don't like, when I can't have the things I wanted, I feel pain for the unpleasant things macam goodbyes. Banyakla. But, at least I'm alive. I won't feel pain if I'm nothing but a dead person. So pain, thank you. To live but not only with happiness but with the pain itself. For pain teaches more than happiness do. Don't blame God if you in pain. Indeed praise Him for letting you in a pain condition, so you'll be in someone's shoe, so you know how to handle a hard time, so you'll have different life's perspective.

Bila fikir balik, kita ni pun macam tu anak ayam bah. Taruk lagi bah kali. BUTA. yala. butul bah. Tell me, ko nampak amacam yang urang2 di Afrika menderita hidup? Ko nampak amacam durang makan? Ko ada nampak mana-mana binatang yang limpas-limpas depan ko, yang ada anggota badan da hilang and minta makan? Ada mata tapi tidak nampak. YALAH. saya tau. kalau sa nampak pun bukan dapat ubah banyak. A little miracle will do, tapi amacam lagi, I couldn't afford any. What can I do? What can you do? Do you suffer more than the person with a sad face sit next to you one morning when you realize you've just miss the last bus? Do you think you suffer more than the little amputate chicken because it's nothing but a chicken and you a human being whom needs money, someone to cling on and education to survive?
Hidup memang tidak adil! Tapi apa buli buat.

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