Thursday, June 20, 2013

Midnight Thought *-*

Thursday, June 20, 2013
One midnight, I haven't yet asleep as a consequences of my 'evening nap'. But, I couldn't avoid it, I try to open my eyes but I feel too tired.
That night, I’m in the state of reminiscing old time. Everything still gives me a state of poignant anxiety these days. I don't know why; maybe because of the transactions in my life occur most in that time - the way I think, the way my physical develop. It seems that I had lost most of what I have back then. I believe a few good friend, and most of all, a person who changed the way I see the world. I don't know if everyone experiences the same path as mine, but one thing for sure, it felt like I'm live in a different life now. I guess that is what we called as "moved on"; moved instead of move stated clearly that it has happened-or I should change it to "had moved on" to make it more clearly that it won’t come back? NEVER. How could we give away half of our life? I've learn that there are some state in our unconscious mind which is called as 'repression' where we tend to forget things that might hurt us (mentally). It is a part of defense mechanism. Lemme give you an example (a case study).
"I have always been able to recall events which occurred in the past. Members of my family are sometimes amazed at my total recall of incidents at the age of two or three. However, I couldn't for the life of me remember my great-uncle Martin.According to my family, Uncle Martin died when I was 8 years old. They tell me that I was Uncle Martin's favourite and he used to take me everywhere. All I could remember is attending his funeral. And even then, all I could remember is riding in a black car wearing a white lace dress. This was the only recollection I had of Uncle Martin or his funeral until I attended another funeral last summer. It was a funeral of a former schoolmate. The dead boy's mother was so overcome with grief that she pulled the corpse from its coffin and began to cry...... At that very moment I felt a jolt go through my whole body. I suddenly remembered myself dressed in white lace tugging at Uncle Martin's hand, begging him to leave "that old box." I could still feel that the same smooth coldness of those stiff fingers and gave on involuntary shudder.On just writing about this recollection, I felt that this was apparently a supressed thought, but now I think it was repressed...I remember it only in this similar situation."
(Introduction to Psychology Oxford & IBH Publishing CO)

The example is 1 of 5 theories of forgetting, whereas the rest are the absence of inadequate stimulation, the mere passage of time, inteference, lastly obliteration of the memory trace.
That must be the only logic reason why we 'give away' or 'forget' our past. This is me, trying to find logic in everything that seems impossible in the state of human's capabilities of denying that there is a 'thing' that is too powerful. The tales of a Man turns water into wines, blinds to normal are impossible and nonsense. It is so hard for them to accept that all the intelligence pedigreed by their ancestors, all the magnificent things discovered and made are only a piece of knowledge own by Him. That He somehow shares with His creations. Sometimes, this fact gives a smile on my face.
oppppssss, tersasar. balik kepada tajuk, memang lumrah manusia la tu 'lupa' tu. Jadi, apa yang jadi terima saja la dengan hati yang terbuka dengan harapan semuanya akan berlalu secepat mungkin. semoga keperitan itu jadi satu kenangan yang kita jadikan pengajaran mahupun memori yang mungkin hanya akan timbul bila perkara-perkara tertentu men'stimulate'nya.

Banyak lagi yang saya perlu belajar supaya saya bertumbuh dewasa dari segi mental. Lama-lama saya lupa juga tu macam mana hidup di Neverland. Adios...


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