Thursday, April 28, 2011

Finally. .

Thursday, April 28, 2011
Finally, I know the truth. That I am stupid for waiting someone that once mine but now belong to someone else. Then I won’t have to think who that lucky girl is because I know it was not her. oklah. No wonder these few days I kept thinking of him. I dreamt he hates me so much, twice, in reality too. Well, it indicates that I knew he hates me but I don’t to think that way. So my dream tells me not to hope for something impossible.
It been two years but the pain are still the same. Why? Can somebody please give me a relevant explanation?  
But still, why hates me? Is that I am really what you called as “K.U.M.A.N”? I don’t understand about this love sick thing but I hate it so much!
But anyway, congrats! Really do. You deserve someone better. You are a great guy. Wish you luck.^^

Yesterday I checked on Annette’s pictures. Then I found this.

This is what I feel. But I don’t mind. I don’t wish it will become better. For if that happen, I on the other hand will hope more. It is good then. I’ll forget about you and go to my own way. It may take times for me to forget everything but I believe, someday.

Starting from today, I wont check on the gifts you give me, I’ll delete your pictures in my cell phone, I’ll stop telling my friends how much I love you still, I’ll stop writing your name, saying your name in my heart, stop looking at the blue sky, use your name as a strength, reason for me to study hard, aiming something so I know how much I love you, I’ll erase your name in every book that I wrote, I’ll stop thinking of you, I’ll stop missing you and I’ll stop loving you. It may take times. Maybe today a second, tomorrow seconds and I’ll forget about you someday.

I promise this is the last time I’ll cry about you. There won’t be next time. So, don’t ask me to stop because I’m starting.  



please find me if you need shoulder to lean on or someone to talked to .. I will be there.^^

Joanna Maxine Jm


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